


Love is nothing but pain

by RainyAfternoons (Zaefanfic)



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: ALL THE ANGST, Angst, Changing Season 8, Daenerys deserves better, Drabbles, Drama, F/M, Fix It, Forbidden Affair, Heartache, Hurt feelings, Infidelity, Jealousy and other petty feelings, Romance, more drama, unbetaed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 16:24:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18968899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaefanfic/pseuds/RainyAfternoons
Summary: Daenerys wakes up from the coldness of death and finds herself on her bed in the cabin of her Armada, remembering every single detail of what had happened. She hears the knock on the door and knows that Jon Snow is standing outside...





	1. I can change things

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mango22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mango22/gifts), [House_Blackfyre](https://archiveofourown.org/users/House_Blackfyre/gifts), [BloodRevenge](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodRevenge/gifts), [FourTrisHEA](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FourTrisHEA/gifts), [Crimson_Guard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crimson_Guard/gifts), [Kitsilver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitsilver/gifts).



> Okay so another fic where Dany wakes up from death and finds herself in the past, the cabin of her Armada, sailing towards White Harbour. I always wanted to write an angsty Jonerys fic. And so many brilliant ones posted here have inspired me especially the fix it, back in time fics. I thought of not writing anymore but there are so many scenes in my head. I didn't want the Jonerys stories and possibilities to end. Also gifting this to some commenters from my other fic who have been so supportive and sweet. There were so many names so I only added a few but it's for all of you. 
> 
> I will probably moderate any super negative comments or delete them or ignore them. Sorry…. So if you wanna comment please be respectful. I mean criticism that is constructive will help the writer especially sensitive Snowflakes like me but if you wanna stir shit up then, Sorry No... Or maybe I should just not read the comments…Hmmm….

* * *

 

**Chapter One**

 

He knocked on her cabin door. Once and then again. Daenerys breathed in deeply. She knew if she turned the knob, it would lead to nothing but heartache, pain and betrayal. So she just leaned her head against the door and tried to stay quiet, tears running down her cheeks. She then heard his footsteps walking away and relief washed over her as she breathed in deeply and brushed her tears away.

 

_I can stop this. The pain and the betrayal. The bloodshed. I can change things..._

 

The next morning she met up with Ser Jorah, Missandei and Greyworm. They sent a raven to Daario Naharis in Meereen with instructions. The Second Sons had a new mission to infiltrate King’s Landing with a small company of Unsullied. They went through the secret tunnels of Red Keep and finished the job. When they reached Winterfell, they received the news. That Cersei Lannister had been assassinated and the Iron Throne was Daenerys.

 

Daario had taken the city for Daenerys without much casualty and the Targaryen black flag flew over Red Keep. There was still the issue of Euron and the Golden Company and Daenerys had asked a favour from an old friend. Illyrio Mopatis managed to negotiate with Tycho Nestoris and the Iron Bank refused the loan to Euron. The Golden Company now fought under the Targaryen banner instead. And they were told to head up North.

 

She didn’t bother to ingratiate herself with Sansa, Arya or any of the Starks or even any of the Northern Lords when they reached Winterfell. They would still think the same of her. A foreign invader who wanted to conquer them. So it was better to remain cold and distant. The battle plans had been changed because Daenerys knew better. They dug out canalsand filled them with pikes edged with Dragonglass, further away from Winterfell, they divided the Dothraki cavalry, so that not all will charge at once, minimizing casualty. The trebuchets will be used to throw canonballs of flames in repeated succession. And those manning the walls of the castle had hot oil and flames ready to pour over and burn the Dead. Most of the women and children headed to White Harbour even Ned Umber and they were ferried to Dragonstone for safety.

 

*

 

Jon tried to talk to her but she avoided him as best she could. The cold tip of the dagger in her chest, she could still feel it. And the look on his eyes when he plunged it into her. _You will always be my Queen._

 

“Your Grace...” Jon addressed her. Daenerys only gave a small smile hiding the whirlwind of emotions inside.

 

“I think we should talk...” He said and Daenerys just breathed in deeply.

 

It was just the two of them in his solar. “Have I done something to offend you Your Grace?” he asked, his eyes looked pained and his face seemed rather frustrated and confused.

 

“No, of course not.”  She said.

 

_Well you did kill me, you stabbed me in the chest while we kissed after I had told you I wanted you by my side. Before that you were distant and you broke my heart. You left me alone when I needed someone the most. You rejected my love because of our shared blood, after everything I have done and given to you. So no Jon Snow, you did nothing to offend me..._

 

“You’ve been distant. You barely look at me. Sometimes you can’t even bear to be in the same room as me...I want to know why.”

 

“I am Queen my Lord. I have other duties to attend to...” She told him bluntly.

 

Jon then nodded, “Alright then.”

 

Daenerys knew Jon wasn't pleased with her answer but he reluctantly let it go.

 

*

 

The Great War was won with fewer casualties. Ser Jorah had made it out alive but Jaime Lannister perished. Instead of Arya, Jon was the one who had killed the Night King. Daenerys went to meet with Bran while he was at the godswood, his eyes looking at the weirwood tree. Bran turned his head and gave her a knowing smile.

 

“You changed things” He said. “You saw what happened and you changed things.”

 

“For the better I hope.” Daenerys sighed and Bran gave a small nod.

 

“Innocent lives have been spared and you're no longer tainted by it.” Bran said and Daenerys only kept quiet. The burning of Kingslanding. She finally stopped that from happening. So it wasn't for nothing.

 

“Have you told Jon yet? About his parents?” Daenerys asked him and Bran sighed.

 

“Maybe you should tell him.” Bran said.

 

“No.” Daenerys shook her head.

 

“He thought he was doing the right thing, you know.” Bran said looking at her. “When he plunged the dagger in you, he really thought he was doing the right thing.”

 

She was still saddened that it had happened. Daenerys didn't think she could ever get over it.

 

“It doesn’t matter. He still killed me…”

 

*

 

Daenerys later met with Sansa, Jon and Arya. She had decided that it was better for the North to remain independent. The Starks were shocked. They did not expect that. But she had already discussed with Ser Jorah and her advisors. She didn’t want to deal with Jon anymore or any of the Starks. She wanted to move on with her life. To rule down South peacefully and set out what she had planned to do, to be a good Queen and not her father's daughter. She had enough of Fire and Blood. Enough of it to last several lifetimes

 

The Northern Lords were gracious and grateful for what she had done but Daenerys had told Jon that it came with a condition. He would give up his claim to the Iron Throne while she is still alive and remained King in the North. Also the condition that the Vale and the Riverlands remained in the Six Kingdoms.

 

Jon came to her chambers that night. He knocked on her door and Daenerys was surprised. He wanted to talk he said and she eyed him warily. He asked what her plans were and she gave vague answers of ruling the Six Kingdoms well. Then she dropped the bomb, telling Jon that since he was her nephew he would be her heir.

 

 _There’s something I need to do..._ and he kissed her and Daenerys just let it happened. The kiss grew deep, hungry and desperate and she pulled her lips away. She had to restrain herself no matter how she felt for him. She could not let herself fall again.

 

_It will only hurt, Love is nothing but pain._

 

She moved away and told him, she was his Aunt, it would not be proper. That she will marry someone. Tyrion had already begun enquiring for potential suitors and already planning advantageous marriage alliances. There was Quentyn Martell, a Prince of Dorne and also Willas Tyrell from the Reach, Lady Olenna’s surviving grandson.

 

*

 

Jon couldn’t sleep at night. His thoughts were of her. That kiss, the way she felt in his arms like she belonged. And she did, she was his. The smell of flowers in her hair. He can’t stand the thought of her marrying another. His brave beautiful Queen who saved him and his kingdom and she gave it back to him. Not wanting it, not wanting anything. Independence she said. How could Jon not love her? He didn’t care that she was Aunt. Or maybe it did bother him a little at first but it didn’t matter anymore.

 

*

 

Daenerys told Missandei, that the North will bring her nothing but pain and she didn’t know that Jon had overheard it. He wanted to know why but never got a chance to ask. She was leaving, her things were packed, her clothes, her men ready to march back South. Her Hand, Tyrion told Sansa that the Queen had gotten grains from the Reach and transported it North for the people. Jon was touched by the gift. It was overly generous.

 

“Farewell Jon Snow...” She said to him, as she sat on her horse.

 

Jon only looked at her, dark eyes probing and Daenerys felt her heart breaking. She didn't think it would be this hard to say goodbye to Jon but it had to be. So she remained calm and stoic. A little relieved. She had survived. The Iron Throne was hers, she didn’t burn any innocent victims. The city of King’s Landing and Red Keep wasn't destroyed. The army of the Dead was defeated. And she was still standing. Still alive. She touched her chest, the same spot where Jon had stabbed her. It was a good victory and now her reign would begin.

 

*

 

She married Willas Tyrell soon after. Daenerys needed the Reach and its rich lands and food supply was important with the Long Winter coming. It was a political marriage, an important alliance. One match that had made all her advisors nod in agreement. Tyrion was pleased and so was Ser Jorah and Missandei. A marriage with Willas Tyrell was the best choice. He was kind and surprisingly handsome, with thick dark brown hair and green eyes, taller than Jon. He smiled at her as he greeted her, slowly bending down to kiss her hand and Daenerys was impressed. Willas needed a walking cane while he walked due to a jousting accident but Daenerys didn't mind. There was no risk of him ever breaking her heart or hurting her or stabbing her in the chest. 

 

There was also no deep passion between them but Daenerys knew passions were dangerous. She would grow to love her husband in her own way and that was good enough. Her husband loved animals, his falcons, hawks, hounds and horses. Willas loved riding and he read a lot, spending his free time in the library. He was also generous to the smallfolk. As a lover, Willas was gentle and considerate but even when she lied in his arms at night she only thought of Jon.

 

Jon had sent letters, long letters that she never replied. He thanked her for the grains she had promised and told her he was eternally grateful for all she had done and even confessed his feelings. He was in love with her. Daenerys was impassive. Maybe she should have burned all his letters but she didn’t have the heart to. So she kept them in the same box where her dragon eggs used to be and hoard them like the precious gifts that they were.

 

*

 

They wanted him to marry, for him to choose a suitable Northern Bride. Jon didn’t want to. When he closed his eyes at night it was Daenerys he dreamed of. Haunting his dreams with her smile, unbound silver hair and the soft feel of her lips. When he found out she had married, Jon had this rage bubbling furiously inside of him. The hurt felt like a dagger in his gut, he had written to her pouring his heart out and she so coldly and callously cast him aside. Not one letter written back. _Was it all a game to her?_  Jon took his sword and hit a wooden training dummy in the courtyard cutting it to pieces. His sisters left wondering what had gotten into him. _He is heartbroken…_ Bran had said to Arya and Sansa.

 

*

 

Daenerys  held a coronation ceremony in Red Keep and invited the nobles of Westeros. Jon went to King’s Landing with Sansa and Arya. At first he didn't want to go but he wanted to see her face again. He saw her looking beautiful and ethereal, dressed in white and silver, and also Willas Tyrell beside her, the King Consort holding her hand while she stood in the Throne Room, a crown on her head. The Queen of the Six Kingdoms, and the Bay of Dragons. They make a handsome pair. Strange though, for a while Jon thought he saw Willas eyes looking at Sansa and Sansa seemed to look at him back, almost mesmerised.

 

He came from the North bringing gifts to the Queen. Appreciation for all she had done for his kingdom. Some thick furs, a finely made sword with a ruby hilt and also two horses, the finest from the North. Daenerys looked at Jon and it was hard but she remained calm. She had to. Her husband was next to her. They meet again as equals, King in the North, Queen of the Six Kingdoms. A banquet was held in Red Keep after her coronation ceremony.

 

*

 

Jon hated it, all of it, all the nobles who were there. The rest from the Six Kingdoms looking at him as if he was an outsider even Robin Arryn and Yohn Royce didn’t speak much to him. Edmure Tully ignored him, talking to Yara Greyjoy and Quentyn Martell. He saw Daenerys speaking to Willas at their table. They were all smiles and she laughed about something and so did Willas. Jon breathed, he had never felt this before. This bitterness coming from his gut, moving up  his throat. _Jealousy…_  So that was what it was. He was jealous and he was angry. Daenerys was his. She was supposed to be his, and not married to Willas. Jon was sure. He wasn’t misreading her signals. They were set to sail together to White Harbour. He went to her door and knocked on it but she didn’t open. At first Jon thought that Daenerys wasn’t in her cabins but Tyrion said that she never left her rooms. Maybe she was asleep then. But he doubted it. _Why didn't she open the door? Why didn't she let him in?_

 

He finally went to her. She was standing on the balcony alone, watching the city before her.

 

“It’s beautiful… The city. I never thought it’d be this beautiful” Jon said and Daenerys turned to look at him. He hated how beautiful she looked, why did she have to be so beautiful?

 

“It is…” She said. “At night the city gets quiet too. Peaceful…”

 

“I want to congratulate you on your marriage Your Grace.” Jon told her. “Lord Willas is a good man.”

 

He meant it though. From all Jon had heard, Willas Tyrell was a prince among men. Even Sansa had sung praises of him. Willas is kind and noble. He would make a good King Consort. _The Queen is lucky._   _He would mak_ e _a fine husband for any woman..._ His sister sounded wistful when she said it.

 

“You mean his Grace, my King Consort?” Daenerys asked, correcting him with a small smirk.

 

“Yes…” Jon almost winced. “Of course.”

  
  
“How about you _Nephew_? When will you marry?” She asked him and Jon was surprised she would call him that.

 

“The Lords are pestering me but I am not ready yet…”

 

“Well you will need an heir.” Daenerys said and looked at the city and Blackwater Bay. “As do I, for our House…”

 

“So you didn’t tell His Grace that you can’t have children…”

 

Daenerys shook her head. She looked sad and Jon hated that she was sad. He almost wanted to touch her. Pull her in his arms and comfort her. Smell the flowers in her hair and never let her go. 

 

“I won’t be a good marriage prospect then, if he knew…” Daenerys sighed and gave him a rare smile. “Besides you are my heir, all the Six Kingdoms know this. You being my nephew and Rhaegar’s son. If I die, you have all the Seven Kingdoms. You and your heirs.”

 

“I don’t want it…” Jon groaned. “Not if you die…”

 

“You're still in the line of succession.” Daenerys said. She then moved to leave and Jon didn't want her to go

 

“Why didn’t you write back to me?” Jon asked and she stopped before turning back to look at him.

 

“There was nothing left to say Jon…” She replied.

 

“No…” He shook his head vehemently. “There was plenty left unsaid.” Jon stared at her close, wanting to read her face. “Something changed. When we were on the ship. You suddenly grew distant and I couldn’t reach you anymore. The next thing I know you drifted far away.”

 

She only looked at him, a little taken aback.

 

“You would not look me in the eye. And every time you see me, you were wary, almost as if you were afraid of me. You ignored me as much as you could. In Winterfell you were never around…I could never see you. You were avoiding me…I thought I was going mad. Was I the only one feeling it? Had I been in love with a Ghost?”

 

Jon knew he sounded desperate but he didn't care. He wanted to know the truth. He wanted to look her in the eye and hear her say it.

 

“Look Jon, you were mistaken. My feelings for you, it was one of friendship and mutual admiration and now it is a kinship… It was never anything more.”

 

“You’re lying…I know you are…” Jonwas frustrated. _Stop lying to me Dany… Stop it!_ He wanted to shake her out of this trance that she seemed to be in. 

 

“You kissed me back…In Winterfell, you kissed me back” Jon said and took her arm. “I felt it, you want me too…”

 

“It was just a moment Jon Snow…” Daenerys told him and pulled away from him.

 

“I am in love with you…” He said and she stared at him. “I have been in love with you probably since I first saw you. I didn’t know it then but now it’s clear…”

 

Jon almost wanted to laugh. He thought of her, their first meeting. How cold she had been and almost hostile. He remembered how beautiful she looked in the caves of Dragonstone and it left him struck silent. And when she came with her dragons to save him and the men beyond the wall. His heart soared when he looked at her on Drogon. His formidable, brave and beautiful Queen coming to his rescue. _How could he not love her?_

 

“Oh Jon…” She sighed softly and looked at him. He saw the tenderness in her eyes. Maybe there was still a chance. “It is an infatuation. I promise you, you will get over it.I want you to be happy. I really do… Despite everything…”

 

“Despite everything?” Jon asked and stared at her.

 

“Don’t you see Jon? We would never work. The two of us together, it just wouldn't work. It wouldn’t make any of us the better for it. It would just end in heartache and tears and…” Daenerys stopped and Jon wanted to know what she meant.

 

“How would you know??” He almost wanted to scream but didn't. “You didn’t give us a chance Dany.”

 

“Because I have seen it.” She sounded cold, her eyes hardened immediately. “I saw what happened if we went down that road. And I chose not to. My feelings are not important. Duty is. Love is the Death of Duty.”

 

*

 

She couldn’t stop thinking about Jon even as her husband lied next to her. Daenerys felt guilty but _Jon, he was her Jon_. Of course it wouldn’t be easy to stop loving him. It would never be easy. It still hurt and she hated that. She hated the pull Jon still has over her. She wanted it to stop so she left her bedchambers quietly and went to the guestrooms. Jon was asleep in bed and it almost made her cry thinking of the times when she would watch him sleep while they were on the ship. The nights they spend making love, in that life she remembered.

 

Daenerys wanted to kiss his lips one last time and she slowly went to his bed and touched his lips with hers. He blinked his eyes open and Daenerys pulled away, shocked that he was awake. Jon held her hand and pulled her back into his arms, he kissed her and in her weakness she gave in. Everything just crumbled, whatever walls she put up when Jon touched her, she just surrendered. They made love hurriedly and then again passionately and again and again. She rode him and he suckled on her breasts like a child. She let him took her from behind and that made her screamed each time he pushed inside her, every thrust of his cock. Jon felt good, he felt so good. He always did. She kissed him all over and he made her cry out in pleasure. Daenerys lied in his arms as he stroke her hair, both satiated and feeling the bliss after lovemaking.

 

“Willas is a good man. He doesn’t deserve an unfaithful wife like me…” She said aloud.

 

“I hope he finds out then, and maybe a separation or divorce will happen.”

 

Daenerys turned around and stared at Jon, shocked that he would say that. “Why would you say such a thing?”

 

“Then you can be mine. I’ll marry you in the godswood or in the Sept. I will marry you and make you mine for all the days of my life.” He said, his Northern tone had gone all serious.

  
“What will the North say when they know their King wants to marry his aunt?” Daenerys asked. She wanted to scoff. It was easy for Jon to say all those things but the reality of it is a different matter. No one would like them being together, especially the North. They would never accept her as Queen.

 

“I do not care anymore. I just want you. Only you…” Jon said and kissed her bare shoulder. Jon held her chin and pulled her close, kissing her lips sweetly. “I love you Dany, my Queen...”

 

Her heart lurched when she heard that. The sweetness, the pain. _The dagger in her chest._ She suddenly needed to be away from him. Daenerys moved, rising from the bed. “I have to go.”

 

She took her robe from the floor and wore it immediately. Daenerys didn’t know what to do. She had to hurry back to her bedchambers. But she had to wash Jon’s scent and sweat off of her first. She thought of her husband asleep in their bed, blissfully unaware of what happened. Willas always rose early in the morning and she didn’t want Willas to find her gone. She groaned inside. _What had she done?_ She was ruining a good thing in her life. When everything was finally peaceful.

 

“I will stay in King’s Landing longer if I have to.” Jon said as he watched her dressing herself.

 

“Do not be ridiculous. You are King in the North. Your people need you.” _He can't be serious..._ Daenerys wanted to scream. It was just supposed to be that one night. One night where she threw caution to the wind and let herself be with him.

 

“Sansa can be regent.” Jon said. “But I will still be here. I won’t leave without you.”

 

 

*

 

Jon Snow was stubborn. He didn’t leave the Capital like he said he would. Choosing to stay longer, even renting a manse close to the sea. He told others that he was negotiating trade deals with merchants from Essos and also from the Reach. And so no one said anything, it was peace times and the King in the North was welcomed in Kingslanding like everyone else. Daenerys knew she should feel guilty. She had betrayed her husband. She was disloyal and unfaithful, an adulterous wife to a good man like Willas Tyrell. But she didn’t feel anything. If anything, Daenerys was happy. Being with Jon made her happy. It was so strange that one man could make her feel such joy and yet had the power to break her heart at the same time.

 

 _Oh you stupid girl…_ She thought she heard Viserys’ cruel sneer. _You’re putting everything at risk for one man. You stupid, stupid girl…_

 

Love was not only painful, it was also a mistake that could cost her everything.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well deleted the first comment calling me a ‘twat’ 🙄 seriously you uneducated bum. Go Eff yourself...


	2. Falling Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More angst and awkwardness

 

 **Chapter** **Two**.

 

**Dany**

 

They were being reckless. She knew that. So damned reckless but Daenerys didn’t care. She had Jon in her arms, holding, kissing and loving her. It wasn’t something she could walk away from. Jon  Snow wasn’t someone she could simply walk away from. She had tried though. She tried her best but it was like they were falling stars, hurtling towards each other, the gravity so strong between them pulling them together till they’ll explode into a million trillion pieces.

 

His kisses made her knees weak. Made her insides weak, the way he held her clutching her close to him as he moved deep inside her. Those smouldering looks he would give, sometimes tender ones too. Jon was demanding and greedy in bed. A ravenous wolf who would eat her whole if he could. Everytime they were together, he always looked like he could never get enough of her. Honour be damned. They had sinned so spectacularly. Maybe it truly was a curse of their House. That they could only find such sexual fulfillment from each other.

 

 _Who could ever love a dragon?_ She once asked herself. Simple, another dragon even one with wolf’s blood.

 

“I could carry you off with me in the dark of night...” Jon said while they lied naked in bed.

 

“Carry me off?” Daenerys asked and gave him a strange look. He smiled at her.

 

“Take you away with me, bring you North and make you my Queen, my wife in truth.” Jon spoke and moved to kiss her lips.

 

“I cannot let you go Daenerys. You know that.” He murmured against her cheek.

 

“You must Jon. I am married.” She said curtly. “Willas is my husband.” Daenerys sighed and knew it was her cue to leave.

 

“Do you love him?” Jon asked her.

 

“He is good to me. We should stop this. Stop all of this. I am not being fair to Willas and to you...” Daenerys breathed in deeply.

 

She looked at Jon and saw him looking at her with those dark eyes. Those eyes always pulled her in. She shouldn’t give it much power, shouldn’t give Jon much power over her. She was Queen and not some silly girl in love.

 

Jon only pulled her in and she sighed softly. He was kissing her again, his hands roaming down caressing her body, fingers plucking her nipples gently and then down to her mound. Jon knew where to touch her and how. Stroking it there with his fingers, the pad of his thumb rubbing on her clit. She started moaning low, her body trembling with want and need.

 

“I love you...” Jon whispered roughly in her ear.

 

She had never said those words to him, not in this life. Sometimes she was afraid to say it. Afraid that she would lose herself in those three words. Her previous self had been quick to be too vulnerable and too open with Jon. And Daenerys had learned from her mistake.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Jon**

 

It wasn’t easy to let it go, once you taste the sweetness of honey. And Daenerys was that and much more. He could not get enough of her. Her lips, her soft and lithe body, that thick silver hair, her tight wet cunt. He was insatiable. Jon had never thought it was possible to be so obsessed over someone, a beautiful woman. Tyrion once joked that his late sister Cersei had a powerful weapon between her legs, a cunt that ruled the world, one that Jaime Lannister could not give up. Jon then realised that Daenerys may have the same effect on him but he did not wish to be crude.

 

He was hungry for Daenerys. Always. Once a day was not enough. Sometimes he pounced on her, pulling her in his arms, kissing her with desperate wet, slick kisses that made her moan. It was one of his favourite sounds in the world. Her moans, her cries of pleasure, her whimpers. His hands going down to touch beneath her smallclothes while she writhed in his arms. She played it so well, being pliant and submissive in bed and it made his blood grew hotter. Jon had never felt this way with a woman. This fiery passion, this intense need to couple, to mate, to dominate. _Wolves mate for life_ , Tormund had said it once. And Jon wanted Daenerys to be his for life.

 

This obsession for Daenerys also led to many clashes. He hated seeing her with Willas. They always looked good together. He saw them seated in the Royal Box at the Tourney and Willas would touch her hand kissing it, whispering in Daenerys ear. He watched them, not realizing how his face had changed, he was actually glowering, turning into a rather possessive green eyed monster at the display of affection the King Consort had shown to his wife.

 

 

“Does he touch you?” Jon asked her later, his voice had gotten harsh.

 

Daenerys stared at him a little stunned he brought it up.

 

“He is my husband...”

 

“Aye. And what am I then?” Jon asked her, his tone gotten hard and demanding. His jaw clenched. He didn’t want to think of them in bed. He didn’t want to imagine how she would scream and moan in pleasure with Willas.

 

“You are... you’re...” She breathed in deeply. “You’re my heir, my nephew. The King in the North.”

 

“You let him touch you...” Jon felt himself sickened by it. _Oh gods... No..._ He had thought it was merely a political marriage. He thought they had slept in separate chambers. _He thought and he thought and he thought...._

 

“He is my husband Jon.” She repeated again.

 

“Fuck!” Jon shook his head and screamed in frustration. “What are you doing Daenerys?!!”

 

“Call me a whore then. If that’s what you want.” Daenerys told him sharply. “Only a whore would do that, sleep with two men. Only a whore would let her nephew fuck her and then go back to her husband and fuck him too.”

 

“Is that what you do Dany?!!” Jon almost yelled at her. “You let him fuck you after I made love to you.”

 

“You let him touch you where I touched you?”

 

His voice had gotten raw. His heart felt like it was being knifed over and over again. Jon felt so sickened he would probably vomit.

 

“You need to go Jon...” Daenerys suddenly cried and he saw the tears in her eyes. “Just go, leave me...I can’t do this anymore... I can’t...”

 

Jon just went to her and pulled her in his arms, letting her cry, kissing the top of her head. He couldn’t leave her. He couldn’t. Jon didn’t know what was going on. Why would he allow himself be in that helpless situation. _Was he the Cuckold or was it Willas?_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 **Dany**.

 

She hadn’t been well for a while. Feeling rather queasy and hot. And then it happened. Like she could throw up. What was happening? She covered her mouth with her hand and almost keeled over.

 

“Are you alright Darling?” Willas asked and gripped her hand gently.

 

They were having a walk after breaking their fast that morning. The gardens and courtyard of RedKeep were beautiful. Willas had brought gardeners and landscape artists from Highgarden to beautify the palace and he wanted to show her the new topiaries and fountains and lemon trees he had planted. She had told him that she liked lemon trees.

 

“I don’t feel so well...” Daenerys said and he smiled at her. Willas wrapped his arm around her

 

“Lean on me...” He whispered and Daenerys did.

 

“I’d carry you if I could...” Willas said and Daenerys smiled. He was trying his best. His impaired leg did give him pain at times.

 

They slowly walked down the hallway and then Daenerys felt her heart slamming right in her chest. There in vast hallway of Red Keep was Jon and Tyrion. Jon stared at her, that look in his face seeing the way Willas was holding her. It looked like he wanted to punch the King Consort if he could and Daenerys was half afraid that he would.

 

“Ah Lord Tyrion...” Willas smiled and then looked at Jon. “Your Grace...” He said to Jon.

 

“I need help if possible, my dear wife the Queen isn’t feeling well. I’d carry her to her chambers if I could...” Willas said and leaned against his walking cane.

 

“Say no more...” Tyrion said and looked at Jon.

 

Daenerys watched as Jon went to her. Willas gently pushed Daenerys towards Jon and he lifted her in his arms. She looked at her husband who seemed relieved that Jon was there. Daenerys wanted to groan aloud. This was a weird situation to be in, between her husband and her lover.

 

“We need a Maester Lord Tyrion...” Willas said to the Hand.

 

“At once Your Grace.” Tyrion said.

 

She didn’t dare to look at Jon while he carried her. He seemed stiff as he walked and very tense. Willas was walking beside them having no idea at all.

 

“Don’t worry Darling. The maester will be here soon...” Willas said and fussed over her. He even leaned to kiss Daenerys lips.

 

“Willas...” Daenerys admonished and he only laughed, his green eyes sparkled.

 

“Your aunt is easily embarrassed.” Willas said to Jon.He only kept quiet, a grim look on his face. Daenerys just wanted it all to be over.

 

“So how do you find King’s Landing King Jon?” Willas asked.

 

“Just Jon is fine actually..” He said. Jon sighed. “It is different from the North.”

 

“Yes, it must be.” Willas said with a nod.“But I hope you like it here. My wife, the Queen has made so much improvement over these past few months. Even rebuilding the slums of Flea Bottom and opening new schools for the poor and the orphans.”

 

Her husband sounded so proud of her and Daenerys suddenly felt guilty. Willas was good and kind, better than any man she had ever known. He didn’t deserve an adulterous unfaithful wife.

 

“I know sometimes she seems rather cold and standoffish but she really has a good heart...” Willas said teasingly and Daenerys snorted.

 

“You do my Love...” Willas said with a gentle smile.

 

 

* * *

 

**Jon**

 

He brought her to her chambers or the chambers she shared with her husband. Jon felt uncomfortable immediately, like he was trespassing. He saw their personal effects. Even a painting of Daenerys on the Iron Throne and Willas standing next to her. The loving way Willas was with Daenerys. It was no political marriage like Daenerys had claimed. _Bullshit, pure and utter bullshit._ The man was in love with her or at least held great affection for Daenerys. The maester came by with Tyrion and then asked for privacy. Willas insisted that he should be with his wife while Tyrion and Jon sat outside.

 

“You must be liking King’s Landing then...” Tyrion said to him as he tapped the wooden arm of the settee they were seated on.

 

“It’s alright.” Jon said and gave a soft grunt.

 

“Well you are not leaving for the North... despite being here for a while.” Tyrion said and looked at him closely.

 

“I have some business in the city. Trade deals.” Jon replied casually.

 

“You could have sent someone else. You’re Jon Snow or is it Targaryen? King in the North, surely your Hand, Ser Davos or any emissary is enough.”

 

Tyrion’s green eyes looking straight at Jon. His tone had gotten serious.

 

“Just say what you want to say my Lord,” Jon huffed.

 

“I won’t let you do anything to destroy her and all she has built. Do you understand me _Bastard_?” Tyrion said and Jon was annoyed the Hand had called him that.

 

“She has everything now. The throne, six kingdoms and the people love her. She has a good Consort, one worthy of her. A kind and gentle man. We owe Willas Tyrell and the Reach everything. You will not undermine that.”

 

“It is her choice...” Jon said. Jon was unnerved. _Is that how low Tyrion thought of him that he would destroy Daenerys?_ He loved her, he was so in love with her. The last thing Jon would ever want was to harm her.

 

“Do the honourable thing and leave Your Grace. Didn’t your father Ned Stark teach you anything?” Tyrion said sharply.

 

Jon kept quiet and breathed in deeply. Almost wanting to smack the Dwarf but he did not. The door was opened and Willas had a bright smile on his face as he stood there with the Maester.

 

“The Queen is with child!” Willas announced. “Thank the Seven Lord Tyrion!” Willas said excitedly as he lifted the Hand off the floor for a while.

 

“I’m going to be a father!”

 

* * *

 

**Dany**

 

She didn’t know what to do with the news. She did not expect to find herself with child. It was never in her mind that she would even have one. Willas was so happy and so excited. A child was the best news. Daenerys had never told him about her barren womb or about the curse. So Willas had no idea. All he knew was that he was going to be a father.

 

Willas was still talking excitedly to members of the Small Council in the antechamber. He insisted that Daenerys should stay in bed and rest. He would handle everything, whatever affairs of state. Willas came to the bed and smiled.

 

“Darling, Jon is here to see you.”

 

“See me?” Daenerys was surprised.

 

“Why? Yes.” Willas replied like it was nothing.

 

“He is your family. I thought it’d be best for him to stay here in Red Keep. It’s always good to have family around.” Willas said and bent to kiss her head before planting a soft kiss on her lips

 

She heard a soft grunt and Willas moved away. Daenerys saw Jon standing there, looking all sombre. She wanted to sigh. The day was not getting any better

 

“Ah well, I’ll leave you two to talk.” Willas said and moved to the antechamber. The door was left open of course.

 

Jon sat by the bed and looked at her. She could hear the conversations next door. The boisterous laugh. Willas was toasting with the Small Council, wine being poured, glasses clinked. A new Royal Baby would bring great tidings to everyone. 

 

“How are you feeling?” Jon asked her.

 

Daenerys only grew quiet and then breathed. “Everything is sore...”

 

“Is the babe alright?” Jon sounded concerned.

 

And she nodded. He seemed relieved to see that.

 

“Is it...” He started. “Is it mine?” Jon asked again.

 

It was a hard one to answer. Daenerys hesitated and then decided the best was to be truthful.

 

“I don’t know...”

 

She saw him winced and Daenerys felt bad. She didn’t want Jon to suffer. Regardless what had happened in that other version of her life. She wanted him to be happy. And she wanted to be happy herself. Maybe they weren’t supposed to be together. Maybe it wasn’t supposed to last. Maybe it would be best to end things now before it gets any worse.

 

“I never meant to hurt you Jon...” Daenerys said softly.

 

“You were right though Dany. When you said that what we had would just end in heartache.” Jon told her. She grew quiet and looked away.This ache inside her heart. It would never end. No matter what she did. Maybe death would end it. But she did not wish to die.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will not be any Dany x Willas love scenes. I will not write that. Just to be clear. So please don’t worry. What she feels for Willas is fondness. She still loves Jon. Like really loves him....


	3. What did you do to her?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Short Chapter, saw it in my head and wrote it quickly. Jon reflects on what happened in Winterfell in this timeline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also. I did tag it as angst. So I hope readers understand that the relationship between Jon and Dany is really complicated. Even though they love each other. And yes Dany still hasn’t gotten over being stabbed by him in the previous timeline and its bound to come up.

**Chapter**   **Three**.

 

**Jon**

 

He couldn’t be away from her even if he tried to. Writing to Sansa that he would be busy in King’s Landing. Willas needed his help, wanting him in the Small Council. Tyrion and Varys were quite annoyed to see him lingering around, whispering amongst themselves. Ser Jorah only kept quiet. He was the Master of Laws and very loyal to the Queen. Jon wondered if Jorah knew something was going on but he never said anything. And Willas, Jon couldn’t hate the man even if he tried to. He was just so likeable. Kind, friendly and scholarly even. Willas showed Jon his menagerie of animals, his beloved falcons, hawks and the horses he bred. Willas was also very intrigued that Jon had an actual direwolf. His trusted friend, Ghost was still in Winterfell, helping to guard his family.

 

“I should like to visit Winterfell one day, and see the raw beauty of the North...” Willas told him.

 

“Aye it is beautiful, green fields that stretch for miles...” Jon smiled.

 

“My wife doesn’t like it though.” Willas said with a shrug. “She finds it too cold I guess. Ah well...” Willas added with an easy smile. 

 

“Maybe that’s why the North is an independent kingdom now.”

 

Jon only grew quiet. It was a sore point that Daenerys wasn’t crazy about his home, his family or his people. He was King in the North and he loved his country and his kingdom. He would want his Queen to feel the same way. Daenerys had been too distant when she was in the North. She never tried to talk to anyone or make nice, being as standoffish and reserved to the Northerners giving them the same cold reception they had given to her and her men as they were suspicious of her intentions.

 

Even Arya thought that Daenerys was arrogant. _“Your Queen is as cold as the Wall...”_ She had said to Jon. 

 

When the Great War had been won and a celebratory feast was held in Winterfell afterwards. Daenerys didn’t choose to attend. Missandei had said that the Queen was recovering. He had tried to see her but she was too exhausted to receive visitors. Jon realised later that she was avoiding him. Which made him feel all lost and confused even. What happened to the woman who smiled sweetly at him at the Dragon Pit? What happened to the woman who came and save him with her dragons and sat by his bed while he recovered? It was as if Daenerys had become an entirely different person. 

 

When Daenerys had made the decision, telling his sisters and him that she wanted the North to remain independent. Everyone was overjoyed. The North finally got what they wanted and what they had fought for. Sansa even hugged her but Daenerys remained quite passive, not even hugging Sansa back, her arms to her side, Jon had noticed. The Lords of the North wanted to thank her and showed their appreciation but Daenerys seemed like she wasn’t keen. She was in a hurry to leave. That confused Jon more. He did speak to Ser Jorah.

 

_“The Queen has responsibilities down South. She regrets that she is not able to meet with you and your lords. She wishes you good fortune...” Jorah told him._

 

“ _Why is she leaving so soon?” Sansa had asked. Jon knew his sister regretted being all cold and unfriendly towards Daenerys. But giving the North its independence had made Sansa changed her view of the Queen._

_“There are a lot of things that needs to be done my Lady,” Jorah explained before bowing and making his leave_

_“It’s like we spooked her off or something.” Arya quipped after Ser Jorah had left the room. She then looked at Jon strangely. “Did you do something Jon?”_

_“What?” Jon was annoyed and frowned. He didn’t like what Arya was insinuating._

_“Yes...” Sansa uttered and looked at her brother, her Tully blue eyes narrowed. “She always looks like she’s uncomfortable with you. Whenever you’re around she tenses up immediately.”_

_“You did something!” Arya said aloud. Arya pursed her lips as she watched Jon. “What did you do to her Jon?”_

_“I didn’t do anything...” Jon cried. Arya was unconvinced. “I swear it! I did nothing wrong!”_

_“Well whatever it is she thinks you did. It must have been pretty bad...” Arya said with a sigh._

* * *

 

 

He went to his guest chambers in Red Keep and Daenerys was there. It looked like she was waiting for him dressed in her robe and a night gown underneath. She looked beautiful as always. 

 

“You shouldn’t be here...” Jon said as he took off his gloves. “Your husband is waiting for you.”

 

“He will be in the library with the Grand Maester. Talking about the aqueducts he wants to build in the city and seeing the blueprints. He’ll be there a while...” Daenerys smiled and wrapped her arms around him from behind. Jon sighed and felt her kissing his back.

 

“I don’t know if I can do this anymore. Willas is a good man.” Jon said.

 

“He is...” Daenerys said and Jon turned around to face her, his hands gently cradling her face before he kissed her soft lips. His hands drifted down and cupped the small swell of her tummy. The babe inside her. It was still small so there was no kick for him to feel. 

 

“It’s mine. I know it...” Jon sighed softly as Daenerys leaned against him. He lifted her in his arms and carried her to bed. He gently set her down, seeing her lying before him, looking beautiful and perfect.

 

 _It’s not fair. You should have been mine. My wife and my Queen. The gods are too cruel..._ He thought but he didn’t want to think anymore. He had Daenerys in his arms and that was enough for now.

 

* * *

 

**Dany**

 

It felt like heaven being in his arms. She breathed in the scent of him and planted a kiss on his chest. Jon sighed and ran his fingers through her hair. It helped her relaxed a bit, having him massage her scalp.

 

“Do you really hate the North Dany?” Jon suddenly asked her.

 

“I don’t.” She replied.

 

“It’s just...” He paused. “You left rather quickly. The war was won and you packed your things and wanted to go South as soon as possible.”

 

“I had a wedding to attend...” Daenerys replied. “Willas and his bannermen were on their way to King’s Landing.”

 

Jon grew quiet. Maybe she shouldn’t have mentioned about her wedding with Willas. But that was the truth. Tyrion had wanted the marriage alliance to be fulfilled as soon as possible and she just wanted to leave. 

 

“My sister, Sansa wanted to thank you and you didn’t give her the chance. She was so grateful for everything...”

 

Daenerys didn’t say anything. _Sansa Stark..._ That Northern woman made Daenerys annoyed at times. Daenerys didn’t bother to make nice to her when she was in Winterfell. She wasn’t going to praise her beauty and try to make any of the Starks like her like she did previously. Giving the North independence was a politically driven decision. And she had thought that it would get Jon out of her life for good. _How_ _wrong_ _was_ _she?_  When Sansa had hugged her, it was a surprise and Daenerys just wanted to be somewhere else. 

 

“Arya thinks I did something to you...” Jon looked at her closely. “Is she right?”

 

Daenerys didn’t respond. She kept thinking of the Throne Room in the castle she had almost destroyed. The very same castle she was now in. The falling snow and the cold. Jon kissing her and the dagger he had later stabbed in her chest when she had least expected it. She closed her eyes tightly for a while. Death always felt so cold and dark. She could feel the blood coming from her nostrils and her mouth before she faded away into nothingness.

 

Jon looked at her. “Dany what happened? Why did you shut me off so suddenly?”

 

“I have to go...” She said hurriedly and moved, getting up from the bed. Daenerys picked up her dress from the floor and wore it immediately and tried to look for her robe.

 

“Tell me...” Jon urged her.

 

“Something happened Dany. You know it did. Everything changed between us and I need to understand why...”

 

Jon pulled her in his arms and she tried to push him away. She started to panic. That tone Jon had used. It sounded so similar to his voice when he had confronted her in the Throne Room what seemed like a lifetime ago.

 

“What did I do?” He asked her. “What did I do to lose you?”

 

“Nothing Jon!” Daenerys cried out. “You did nothing!”

 

 _Why couldn’t Jon just let it go?_ She didn’t want to think about things long gone. She just wanted to move on with her life. But of course it was never easy. Not with Jon in it. Was it all a mistake? Being with him? Loving him? She really was a stupid girl. Viserys would have laughed at her and gloated. 

 

_Ah...Sweet Sister...A fool in love does not make a good ruler._

 

“You’re hiding something Dany! I know it.” Jon spoke. 

 

“I need to go. I need to go back to my husband...” Daenerys told him and Jon’s face fell when she said that. 

 

She groaned inwardly suddenly regretting her words. Everything seemed to be going to shit. Daenerys had wanted to change the course of things and it only got more complicated. Maybe death would have been better, at least she’ll have some peace... _No of course not. It was just nonsense._ Maybe she was never meant to have peace.

 

 


End file.
